See, who's Talking!

1. Do teenagers age fast?
   No, but sometimes their parents do!
2. Which dog can jump higher than a building?
   Any dog, buildings can't jump!
3. Which one is faster, hot or cold?
   Hot, because you can catch a cold.
4. In which battle was Admiral Lord Nelson killed?
   His last one.
5. Which kind of bird picks up heavy things?
   A crane!
6. Where do broken ships go?
   To the docks.
7. Where do snowmen keep their money?
   In a snowbank.
8. Where do sheep get a hair cut?
   At the baa baa shop!
9. Why isn't your nose twelve inches long?
   Because then it would be a foot!
10. Why was the math book sad?
    Because it had too many problems.

1. How do you call a dog with no legs?
   It doesn't matter, it won't come.
2. In what school do you learn how to greet people?
   In hi school!
3. What do snakes do after they fight?
   They hiss and make up.
4. What is the longest word in the world?
   Smiles or Smiled.
   There is a mile between the first and last word.
5. What time is it when the clock strikes 13?
   Time to get a new clock!
6. What is the best material for kites?
   Fly paper.
7. What is the best thing to use if you itch?
   Scratch paper.
8. What kind of robbery is least dangerous?
   A safe robbery.
9. What's the best month for a parade?
   March!
10. Is being a telephone operator a business or a profession?
    It is more like a calling.

Don't short-cut God when you experience adversity. Ask him, "God,

what do you want to teach me?" Use it as an opportunity to grow. Do

as Charles Darrow and his wife did who themselves suffered

tremendous adversity. They accepted adversity as part of life and

refused to allow it to steal their joy. They worked through it, and God

helped them. They learned through this situation, and they kept

laughing.

Back in 1932 was out of a job and broke, and his wife was expecting

a baby. Although he was a heating engineer, there were no jobs

available and Darrow and his wife were just barely subsisting on the

few odd jobs he could get as a handyman. Things were bleak. Fate

didn't reckon with the courage of this man and his wife, however.

They laughed at it, literally. In the evenings, to take their minds off

their troubles, they made a little game in which they could pretend

they were millionaires, recalling pleasant vacations in nearby Atlantic

City. They reconstructed the area adjoining the boardwalk. Darrow

carved hotels and houses out of small pieces of wood, and they

called the game Monopoly.

Three years later, in 1935 the game was marketed by Parker Brothers,

and Darrow and his wife became millionaires because they allowed

adversity to make them instead of break them.

When you face adversity, are you going to allow it to break you

or make you? It's your choice.

1. What kinds of keys can't open a door?
   A Turkey, Donkey, or a Monkey.
2. What kind of animal cleans the sea?
   A mermaid!
3. What has wheels and flies?
   A garbage truck.
4. What did Cinderella say while she was waiting for her photos?
   Some day my prints (prince) will come.
5. What did the Teddy Bear say when he was offered desert?
   No thanks, I'm stuffed.
6. What are good names for identical twin boys?
   Pete and Repeat.
7. What made the laundry turn green?
   It got seasick from going round and round!
8. What did zero say to eight?
   "Nice belt!"
9. What spells 4 and has 3 letters?
   FOR
10. What is big, white, gives milk, and has one horn?
    A milk truck.

1. What can you find in the middle of nowhere?
   The letter H.
2. What is at the end of everything?
   The letter G.
3. What is the center of gravity?
   The letter V.
4. What is a scarecrows favorite food?
   Strawberries.
5. What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a ghost?
   Cockapoodleboo!
6. What are the strongest days of the week?
   Saturday and Sunday. All the rest are weak days!
7. What does an envelope say when you lick it?
   Nothing. It just shuts up.
8. What's the kindest vegetable?
   A sweet potato.
9. What do you call it when someone puts a clock on his belt?
   A waist of time!
10. What do you call a sleeping bull?
    A bulldozer.

1. What do you call a Penguin in the desert?
   Lost
2. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
   No idear
3. What do snowmen have for breakfast?
   Snowflakes
4. What do you call cheese that's not your cheese?
   Nacho cheese!
5. What do you call a country, where all the cars in it are pink?
   A pink carnation.
6. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
   Elifino! (Hell if I know)
7. What's the difference between a a love story reader and a farmer?
   One reads it and weeps, the other weeds it and reaps.
8. What goes up and down but never moves?
   Stairs.
9. What building has the most stories?
   The library.
10. What mostly don't you hear in school?
    The H.

1. If Johns mom has 5 sons and their names are Ja, Je, Ji, and Jo.
   Who is the last one?
   John.
2. What kind of flower do you have between your nose and your chin?
   Tulips.
3. What is the best way to keep food bills down?
   Use a paperweight!
4. What tools do you need in math class?
   Multi-Pliers
5. What did Billy say after he learned how to count money?
   "It all makes cents now!"
6. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back to you?
   A stick
   (They're all sticks to me!)
7. What did the the tie say to the hat?
   You go on a head, I'll just hang around.
8. What Question must you always answer yes to?
   What does Y-E-S spell?
9. What do you call a bear without an ear?
   B
10. What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
    Bugs Bunny